David Chadwick
Sunday, January 7th

David is joined by politician Malcolm Graham to discuss the new year and forgiveness.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Hi everyone I'm David Chadwick in the system's 1110993. WBT welcome to show. In case you don't know this is a faith and values program that tries to intersect faith and values through the different. Aspects of life people's experiences what's going on in the world. It's always a pleasure doing the program now for seventeen. Years thank you listeners for joining me. On a weekly basis I hope you've enjoyed the show I've certainly enjoyed doing it. And almost happy new year here we are on New Year's Eve what a great opportunity for us all. To think about a fresh start to think about a new beginning. To put what's happened to us behind us to keep moving forward with two key words hope. And faith. Because I believe that God's in control of his world even when bad things happen and we can still have hope that he's working all things together for good in ways we can't begin even. To understand so to approach the new year 2018. I was trying to think of who could come in studio with me. And helped all of you out there. Who were still clinging to some past bitterness some on forgiveness. Places in your heart that our strong holds that just keep finding new and not allowing you to be free. Especially again in areas are places where people have hurt you and done wrong to use. So I was thinking who could I give in to talk about forgiveness for its very nature of faith. For those of us who are Christians we know god has forgiven us through Jesus. Therefore he's paid off a billion dollar debt that we owed him can we not been paid off a several hundred dollar debt to those who hurt us. And the essence of forgiveness rests in God's forgiveness of us. One person who has allowed forgiveness to consume his heart in a very traumatic experiences Malcolm Graham he's a former senator here in the state of North Carolina. He is a well known local Charlotte former politician. And has. Practiced forgiveness like few I've ever know Malcolm Graham joins me in studio today Malcolm thank you for your time. Good morning David and happy new year yet to you as well. Welcome let's get to know you just a bit before we dive into what happened to you and your family and your practice of forgiveness. Longtime Charlotte news. No I'll born and raised in Charleston, South Carolina. I came to Charlotte actually on the tennis scholarship from a tennis player and one scholarship that. Johnson C. Smith University I came here and 81. Fell in love with the city. So with the community. Our fellow locally Kim Kim was a a student that's meant to slow and we are much circulated around the world agrees on got married very young and and made Charlotte home and children. Two girls Courtney is a graduate student at UNC Charlotte. She gets her masters arm. Two weeks ago. And my youngest of close to graduate student at Clark Atlanta University. No manager Richard. We're talking for the program begin of your love for hoops and that's something we share in common our basketball commitment in your daughter play basketball. She played basketball or Xiang went to mount a retired school left the year as the all time leading world rag on Darrell Wright all are I love it I noticed that's. And we'll be able to get a college scholarship and watcher played there announcing for a graduate assistant in the coaching field and so. She got her speed for Vermont Vermont was on the form are 100. Track team that once they championship. PowerPoint and Jews and marked in this skills which you gotta get their arms. There you go hand eye coordination plus speed you can't get any better than that for secrecy. That bad as well. And you are now we're talking about how this time of years of frustrating for you that her. Career now basketball is now over you feel like you're in wilderness not being able to watch kids play sports I get that. I did it to its empty feeling because she's used to going somewhere Tuesday outbursts at nights are when she was Carly it's. We would down you know join the week with a drive to awaken to home games and so. There's nothing to do and it just feels so if you think you have got to be Jim and I don't I or premier swimming pool as well by others on your swim. On the butt but your. And you love Charlotte does shortlist and and and audio why are thou shall linking here are they were building the Marriott hotel Obama and on the corner of trading trying mystery was the burger king of Eckerd drugstore in the onshore. The biggest celebrity in Terrell was Rick player. A NASCAR was the down to me to sported counts aren't telling my age but it. I had an opportunity to be a part of this to quote the decision the well I mean change and down at the council member states sensor and Anderson please make sure. And you've seen it grow and change on oh and Andy you've been an important part of the political landscape again locally and statewide. And that's what's major figure that has often been sold out to get opinions on the different perspectives. Folks my guest today is Malcolm Graham I Charlotte team in but a former state senator. And Malcolm when we come back to what I wanna do is introduce the most tragic thing that's ever happened in your life and it had to do with a racist shooter in Charleston, South Carolina your home town. How he took advantage of a moment of prayer and worship in a church in Charleston several years ago. And you had to learn a very important lesson and that's how to forgive somebody. Who took something very valuable away from you Malcolm grant my guess we're gonna talk about his journey. Off forgiveness. And return I'm David Chadwick will be. Right back. Everyone I'm David Chadwick from the system's 1110993. WB ET welcome back to show. And a happy new year to all of you tomorrow as we'd leave 2017. And now enter. 2018. My guest today is Malcolm Graham he has a former city councilman here in Charlotte. Also a former state senator and a Charlotte to Ian for 3040 years now. But here's why I wanted to talk to today Malcolm as we go into 28 teen a lot of people had a tough 27 team. There are many who were listening to the show who had someone who hurt them. Who disappointed them who took something from them. And one of the basic problems of the human nature. If you want revenge you'd just want equal retribution for what's been taken from you. And as Gandhi said years ago an eye for an eye and a tooth for tooth you keep doing that everybody's going to be toothless and cyclist there's a problem with retaliation. That eventually keep escalating the retaliation and where does it and obviously in death itself view. And your family went through a terrible experience. Rude. The shooting of a young man by the name of bill Andrews would you describe what happened on that fateful day some two years ago in 2015. Well I was or at home getting ready. Four bit. And I was watching the news and on the TV squirrel says shooting in Charleston manually in the church nine. They are dead on. Our growth in Charleston said earlier. My grandmother. Attended the manually in the church or are you can do it manually in the church from other some Y year. Are both of you are sure Marxist who listened to funding aren't we turn our. Easter speech there. My younger sister Jackie got married here our parents are buried in the graveyard the year Emanuel has been a part of apparently found Rwanda Holbrooke 6070 years. And so my immediate start with Carlson the Marxist. Simply throw in Charles street she's very active in the church and also she's. She's my connection to Charleston in two or altered to find out what was happening in Charleston and of course she didn't answer and I listen disturbed by that. But I hour went by and if she didn't and something that significant other Toms all over the news now. Something that significant in Charleston and the manual arms and to with a college district AM okay. Are you know. And she didn't. And in about another thirty minutes went by and my niece called me and says it. We can't find on Cynthia we think she went to church. And of course that night dealing roof. Went to a manually in the church. He was divided in my bills with fear to a Bible study. He fell within for an hour around they quoted a red Bible scriptures. At the end of the arms service arm. Went on tolls and heads were power of doing the benediction. He took a dying and began to shoot everywhere it was. Include Emerson stir. Cynthia. At the end of the the episode. After about eighty those were flying it around now and we're dead. I'm by our own. Two were wounded and three were are tucked away from hiding. And the preachers office arm that would be the preachers wife. And institutes and. What what kind of weapon needy have and how was he able to hide it from every. Well he he had the weapon in that and a and a knapsack around this place. And so there was no visible from a guy and and you this Bible study and did did the tiara the spring up off that night was that they were actually council Bible study. The church was getting ready for church conference on in the was really light arms particularly started at 6 o'clock. By this time it was about 8 o'clock on the one of the young ladies shoreline through just guard her minister life since. She was scheduled to parent teacher Bible study that night. And she was for me excited about that until they stuck around. And to those who would come to give for an opportunity to kinda. Showed them what she was she had personally that she was preparing for that 44 firewire. So as an opportunity to encourage her except her teaching gifted news recently you can do this is certainly a lot of kind of outreach to. Exactly and Cynthia. Again and she was doing a dash is a liberians as spent in the Charleston County library for 31 years. She was doing a project for the church and it stopped on to deliver the project. And Sharon do who also passed away that night is when forget friend. Actually display. And that that was due dinner after it was over. And and when he came in there was no question about him he was just coming to a Bible study even though it was an African American church and like person showed up. Yeah hounds. That's that's it armed distortion church has always opens everywhere to every quarter and wish him the way it's got to be embarrassed to learn lived with one another and love one another exactly and and Baylor in the stranger. On the council destroying Europe. They say this so what bar bush scriptures. Emanuel is really. Through our own the an historic district of Charleston so. A large part rich for young a lot of people come through there and in terms this church. And and and when you first figured out. That she had been shot what did you mean leader. Well it it it was kind of crazy arm because again after an hour it's who you knew something was wrong that we couldn't fire at home. Former police chief or in a row here shortly. I contacted him on. He contacted the folks in Charleston and he was the one that really kind of let me go that. Since drew was involved in the shooting Ari youth witness statement who was it with the leave the church. Our head to the price at fifty at the church and so we've we've relatively. Early in there of course arm. The coroner's office calling him. Morning descriptions. I did you lead Charlotte to drive to Charleston I left I left about 4 o'clock that morning. Home and after about 730. In the arms to buy that and you know. No work for. The conversation which is a world that so I knew that that she was scarred. And analysis arm heartbreaking home. At that are we to know the sort of offered to have the fact that she was Charlotte Church. And listen to the next morning what we've beacon and find out what happens. From this perspective. That was. I have never been so keep the room. Impacted in my life that Phil was known might be disturbed by it but mother die a huge year year polished mark follow my freshman year. So since there while she's only four years older than me she took on the role as the only picks us to put my finger and every significant. Than them on my life. Arm. Action might Marty wife Kim off. 29 years now to marry me are involved in public office on solving a problem mark. Harder for a 38 XP to I was writing effective tomorrow and that he be feel that would be my. My go to person for an even before the term now poplar might coached. She was my wife put some twenty years ago you extremely close we were extremely closely we talked about our park every day. Via. A fellow former architects our our film perfect communication in matter of fact. I spoke with her that day war. And it will send through this life that we were worried about my younger sister Jackie has just been cardinals two days earlier. With stage four breast cancer so long conversation we were having about. Probably due to Virginia which actually is to kind of get over the park the support and life and of course that this effects are that you for liberians so that she believed that. The answer to your request is in the walls of the libraries which used to when her reefs are shrine. Around you Jacqui the the best advice you can give in terms of her treatment and how we would. Do you this cadavers. Your frame majority going to a crisis we we we were going through crisis at this point in terms of the conversation was with a two which right after shortly. Who jumped in my car that we would go to the union and coo of the Jackie's. Doctor appointment with her and can securely in treatment plant with. So you're in Charleston, South Carolina you know your sister's been shot and did you know anything about Dylan Ruth at this point. No at that point if you stole the loose and it was just. You know me being sent to his brother and a public figure. There was a lot of media attention on me and and that angle. And so the media attention and comforting families. Our company community. And then of course trying to after the arched and why. And then of course these are the him being capture that today. And it just started a armed. Interest stinging. It's stirring it and finish you know as a pastor. When people are in the best of circumstances. There's always some part of confusion armed you know my family with no different. Philip someway in which is down into the worst of circumstances. And deal with them the issue so loose the public. Debt that we are dealing with as well as they're part of the family issues that we deal with along different lines yet. A death within itself is hard enough and helping people deal with their grief but you're dealing as a public figure everybody's asking you what's going on how do you feel about this how are you going to handle this thing you've got your own family grief going on. So you're in the middle of a maelstrom. There with the ER at her has been. Was our own country and embarrassment. There was some strange with beer and so Lou Lou it was suits. A lot of moving balls and that some. Point song when needed to step in and take control. And for my family is with me happened to step and kind of been an honest. Brokered. By guest today is former senator in the state of North Carolina Malcolm Graham's former city councilman. I'm talking about the his grief and how he and his family members handled the shooting off his sister. I don't root. Several years ago in Charleston, South Carolina and he's trying to help us as we approach the new year how to handle grief but also how to forgive. And have a fresh start in 28 team I'm David Chadwick the snooze eleven tend to be BT will be. Right back. Yeah. Hi everyone I'm David Chadwick it's 11109893. WBT welcome back to show. If you'd like your the program in its entirety and my guess is you will want to and also listen to it several times as we learn how to forgive those who hurt us. Please go to WCT dot com scroll down at the weekend shows that David Chadwick sure you can download it and hear the program in its entirety again my guest is. Malcolm Graham former. North Carolina senator Charlotte City Council person and Malcolm had to go through. Something no one wants to go through and that is the death of his sister. By the hands of a racist guilt and Ruth who shot his sister and eight others in a church in Charleston, South Carolina. Headlines everywhere several years ago. And Malcolm you've had to walk through the process of forgiveness let's get there in just a second but. What do wanna pick up on in the story injuring Charleston now others just chaos. You're being asked by everybody to make comments about what's going on the closure public figure but you're dealing with the grief of your family your own personal grief. How are you handling. I think he used to write worried that there was there was just chaos and I had to remind myself. Which that it would have to. And she would say com all the things that you've done and in your life. And appear to for the moment this. You know if congress wants. And things from Rio went back and forth about what what is losing me there. She remembered her telling me that sometimes. The tragedy of life has not reaching your goals the tragedy like this heavy vehicles. To reach for all that and she says that you've done which is set to one entity that would that you ran for congress and that most of goal. An official source and coach you always sort of it's only fair value I get back to work. And so she would want me to stay focused and calm into the war that was necessary. What were witness what had to be done 122 to beat her spokesman. To tell people. What has happened to her. To take some leadership within our family to make sure that our eyes sort of honest broker. In to use my public forties. The game and net only to speak for her. But to speak for others especially when we found out. Widely. That this car it was always the premise that he wanted to start raised war. The that he told one of the the victims who lose. Explorer. I help my shorts and yet and she's a she said no he threw it to I went to the along and tell him what it was Tuesday. She wouldn't want to meet you with that and talk about issues that we talked about among house welcoming a Cynthia. Racism and hatred and discrimination. And how we as a community. Took from all. On ways to war together and so she will want to be just the kind of do the work necessary. To get our family the community in on the ancient. Past this point. This wife from his killing her in in in others as she was sent them. All the things that you've done to this point prepared to beat Hamas spokesman. And year convinced that. Had she lived and even been shot or hurt in someway she would have forgiven delivery. That's a complicated question. On. June. She would have said. This business is done about her. She was says that this was from the packed on a race of people. That this was an impact on humanity. That this was from the impact from the Christian church. Cynthia I again was the library she was a resource to issue some scholars he understood history. She she would have induced is the impact would he do it aren't the start of the race war. And the significance for manual UB church or manually in the church physical traces went ten count went straight. John C Calhoun who who far. To bring our own slaves who went to do in the war. To go out there from the start to bring impact to be slaves. She understood that history she understood that the history of the confederate flag flying on the state capital growth of South Carolina so she would've. Need that forgiveness would not been the first topic of mine. As she would have addressed what really went home she does she would cube of the audit. She will she would have the draft causation. And then with that would have sent this really is not about me at football you rate for people. Our and so we would have had if she was alive. Very. The start our own conversations about where we are at the country as a nation. And how we are dealing with round bye is and and and racism discrimination and our country and. Well it's real handed exists and we're still seeing ramifications on it even to this day. When's the first time you ever saw Dylan roof personally face to face. Are in the courtroom around. You know our our attended every. Trial are proceeding. Hearing. That he had because. That they would have wanted it to that I can't sister earlier my job was to stand up to speak. But what are you feeling inside when you see hatred. It's so much better things. Is it really started with. And medic got a world where where you the united main road that before you go quick word we use this as you're Powell for instance while in the place. Warrior. She without the moles. Comfort. Security in the. Armed with a flick and this was replaced. Armed we've we've been at formal six years profoundly collectively their efforts beyond Charlie that same room. We were running around in before Sunday school in in the Bible lessons and and then I have to remember. The Bible lessons of that with you know in that thing very room. And starting with the menial the meeting poppy Emmanuel. Which is god is with us. And from that point for me started a very slow. Process to comprehension and acceptance. Trying to seek understanding. I'm pulling him how mobile. What he has done forgiveness doesn't mean justice. Denied no no no it is to an editor curry and you can forgive but given this assay process. If they if they destination in. When the first. Utterance or forgiveness. Came two days after the shooting. I was not clear my muscles are with the way anymore. And Ottawa. Every once faith walked it's different. And certainly mine this is different unique. Improve our with our new year ready to forgive him what he's done to eat with the it was perpetrated. Something to the community of people. That we were dealing with four world point. Yours. So your. Needed to process all of this is not just personal it is for me Lille it is community why. Are because the first that it needed to happen before any consideration of our hill was two to bury my system with a sense of grace and dignity. Either my sister. Are most of lady who had enormous. Pride and dignity. And to see her or did it on tape. I'm huddled under in the eighty table and the church basement. Starting eleven times. Your sister was shot eleven times yet certain. That's somehow got lost in the conversation. Yes eleven times two to two. We would fare when they read the autopsy report in the court session. I mean in and in the goes right to your question would wouldn't how to feel when I saw them when I saw home every day it was just the state. Is elusive with the element a plate and here's a guard who never. Acts for forgiveness here to guard who says he would do with the game here's a guard who came into the court room. With walks sticker. Symbols that he would throw an artist and issues. And here's a guard who. We start on tape practicing target shooting two under for our here's a guy who who spoke at the trials say that he would do it again. And the F Marxist or. Was walking across the street. And she was hit by a car. Are somewhere and texting intra. And the driver says oh my guard please forgive me I didn't mean to do this they'll wake up this morning with in and of of hurting anybody. Did the driver crime he's saying he's he's seek someone else like you David for counseling for understanding. He read to sell to the families of two guys please forgive me. But give this can come quickly. That this was not that scenario and so is it some people were able to begin right away. For me. Forgiveness. From that point was the beginning of the journey. For understanding. For our spiritual guidance and counseling. To Rome. So it's. And and how to heal myself personally. That voices Malcolm Graham former state senator city councilman. Knock on talking about his. Feelings when Dylan route shot his sister in the Charleston shootings several years ago. And Malcolm when we come back I would like for you talk about that process and how you move from just hatred and disdain which in quite. Candid fashion I would have felt the same way I would have Indian move toward forgiveness and and ultimately helped again I'm David Chadwick this is he's 1110990 WB key will be. Right back. I'm David Chadwick and this is he's eleventh in 1990 WBT welcome back to show. In my guest in studio is Malcolm Graham he is a former. North Carolina senator also a city councilman here in Charlotte. Walk through something none of us would ever want to walk through that is the merciless killing off his sister in Charleston shootings some three years ago by Dylan route. A killing that was motivated solely by racial. Malice and animus. And he is now in jail for life and Malcolm has gone through. The difficult process off forgiveness and as we you'd move into 2018 Malcolm there a lot of people out there who go through tough times and difficult things that have happened to them. You've mentioned a couple times on the show that this forgiveness Abdul and Ruth and his killing of your sister and really an animus against the whole race. It's something that's been a process for use on pact that is health goes out there who want to forgive and move forward and be like an opera Graeme is three years later they do it and. It's typical army because the first rocket surround myself with people really cheer me dating Caremark cult member glamorous and aquarium has. How is now Clinton and that close family and friends and relatives and Charles in America back to shell that was my own minister reverend Gerald friendship. Mr. Alexander. On. Wrote in my office and calls all these guys have reached out to be provide. Them counsel and and that price and found import. That he I had to really. You know gift of the trial. Gotten. Down to two year. Because again one of the birth right. I believe that you though. He should have been prosecuted to the schools the further along in the prosecutor's and court's. And that justice system that is too. And then announced in January of this year when he was thrown. Till January 2017 yes or no who's that short the I'm entered in faux. The RR I really had to go from a place where it was questioning where with god and he's he is they are to protect us and this happening in his home in and this is the pity party. I'm down with Tammy for myself and my community in my family. And the fools or Ozal gradual slow step towards. Been able to say that much of that was murdered. Being able to. I understand. The big picture and turn to what it meant for race of people it. Problems launching. Honestly. What happened in Charlottesville this year. I'm a bit that brought back. And in our understanding. You know old the election we're here. You know Steve Bannon who white. Separatists. Right. The steps away from the Oval Office though it shoot it really took me a wild. To kind of watched those things away. And say OK what do I need to do to rebuild my foe and and for me to. And be happy again. And and and and that for me was to acknowledge. On that god is good. To acknowledge that. The duty to bring up our faith that if it's in them. You've got to be able to the pound something that's not they are. And believe it. In. To come to the conclusion that simply with a one V two. She was for our. That he was film I was younger that you need a whole lot of foreign too polished you know and that she took from pine that. She. Ego got to offer to polish him off me out to win there and clean me in company with my. Vocabulary. Whom are writing mark Preston tasted the other two. She within now on the right here that are on the Harwood chew. To move forward into one point in. There's greater things for you to do so you need to who hated to and so. I just accepted that and increase my pace. And increased our friends. Started doing a lot of writing I do on. Their writing for the Washington polls through channels and papers Charlotte Observer. So whenever a twelve point one used for expressed myself or to re leaf. Something on the disputed right. When Jesus said we need to forgive seventy times seven and people have jokingly said it would that means on the 491. Time back and hit somebody who hurts me but. What that metaphor really means is that continual. Processed to choose forgiveness and to choose love over hate which is what Martin Luther King did in other leaders. The race movement on the and that's what he had to do as well as natural. Love over hate. And so I I. There are I think that this system work he he is and actually got to definitely. He did get the death penalty was not like in prison need to get that done exactly and for our party was prosecuted to the fools of room along. And that and I are walker one nicer and at this an arm or talk about how much so still this. Force of how she'd. And that in and it's truth and power be it took the power away from him. And gave it back to be honest in memories of sushi is she different library in Charleston known name after her dissenter Graham earth through this regional library. There's two scarlet sues the the most prestigious scholarship. That the call to Charleston offers they are simply a name down knowing that you worked 31 years. Full time. With the lottery system she worked sixteen years at night. A politician also blogger. Malcolm with you don't forgive. That means you've lost twice that first of all your sister's been killed and you have that grief that you're killing yourself with that as well I mean it that hatred doesn't hurt anybody's. You you've got to let you eat at validity escape and Britain are used the words are in full view. For your actions demonstrate that you have moved on and that there's practice. This is this horrible angry person walking around. You're not collect his hate control you know narrow and so are my ideas talked about how much is still loses. First policy in which he did why he did that is important anymore. What's important is that we honor the memory of Cynthia and the others. In that we work within the boundaries of our community revolutionary. Charlotte North Charleston. Or your home and it was listening if we go into the new year. I think what you have to do is just simply. Inhale and then exhale and then Politico. Political and in trying to. Find the positive just aren't questions aren't where we start where with where you. And and that's and his school lasting impact Nam vet the that is very. Additional worry Emmanuel is artist. And hatch remember that. One of the uniqueness of the Christian faith in and it we have all kinds of listeners at their different faith varieties but from the uniqueness of the Christian faith is gone on cross. They've got under our suffering with us and it's so different than any other faith allows me keep moving forward. When I hurt Cullen who got her with meanness in my hurt me. One final comment. Someone once said that holding bitterness in your heart is like drinking arsenic and expecting the other person to die. And yes indeed. You can't do that anymore and because I try. And and it doesn't were displeased you bitter. And so our game as we move forward into this new year. Just be able to kinda. Let it go. Trusting. And say your prayers. It's just a simple things from life that's more important. Just remember arm. Even if you're pandemonium problem I AM remember how they lead sources it. What a great work Malcolm Graeme thank you for being on the show today I give him enough and folks take Malcolm's words today. For give. It's the only way you'll be set free. I'm David Chadwick happy new year to you all look for talking with you all next week.